Martin gets a girlfriend
by cautiousAlbatross
Summary: Captain Martin Crieff manages to get himself a girlfriend, but she doesn't quite turn out to be what he expected.


"Ah, Douglas!" said Martin in a chirpy voice, entering the flight deck, "Good day, isn't it?"

"What's got you in such a good mood?" asked Douglas suspiciously, "Baked potato for dinner?"

"No, _actually,_ I have some _very _good news."

"Go on."

"_I _have a _girlfriend._"

"I think we have a very different definition of _good news_, Martin. Are you _sure_she's not a figment of your imagination?"

"Yes, Douglas, I am."

"What's happening, Skip?" asked Arthur, coming in.

"I'm just telling Douglas here some good news."

"Good news?"

"Yes, Arthur. _I've_ got a girlfriend."

"That's brilliant, Skip! Is she real?"

"_Yes,_ Arthur."

"You have yet to prove that, Martin," said Douglas.

"_No_, I _don't_."

"_Yes_, you _do_."

"_Fine_, then, I'll introduce you."

"I look forward to it."

"Douglas," said Martin as they left the plane that evening, "Come with me, I think there's someone you'd like to meet."

"Ah, would this be the elusive _girlfriend_?"

"Yes, _actually_."

"Amazing. Where is she, then?"

"We've arranged to meet in-" Martin checked his watch "-10 minutes at that café down the road."

"You'd better hurry up, then."

"I _am. _Come on."

Douglas followed Martin in amused silence to the café, where a beautiful young woman with dark hair and tanned skin smiled at Martin, walked over to him, and kissed him on the cheek. Douglas had to assume, unwillingly, that _this _was Martin's girlfriend.

"Douglas," said Martin, turning back towards him, "This is Aikaterini. Aikaterini, this is my First Officer, Douglas Richardson."

"Nice to meet you," said Aikaterini with a thick accent.

"Likewise. That's an unusual name, where's it from?"

"I am from Greece," she replied, smiling shyly.

"How _fascinating._ And when did you move to England?"

"A few days ago," supplied Martin.

"About when you met Martin, then?"

"Yes, I suppose so."

"_Interesting._"

"Oh, shut up, Douglas."

"Of course, _sir._"

Martin glowered at Douglas silently for a moment.

"So, A-Ai-Aik-" attempted Douglas.

"Aikaterini," said Martin.

"Quite. _Anyway_, how did you meet our Martin?"

"He was flying me to England. I thought he was... how you say?... very nice."

"_Did_ you? _Helpful_, was he?"

"Yes, he was," she said, smiling.

"_I wonder why._"

"_Douglas._"

"Yes, well, _nice to meet you._"

"And goodbye," said Martin firmly, "_We're _going out to dinner."

"Am I not invited? I'm hurt."

"It was nice to meet you," said Aikaterini.

Douglas left, an expression of astonishment lingering on his face.

"Post take-off checks completed," said Douglas.

"Thank you, Douglas," replied Martin.

"And how is Aikaterini today?"

"She's _fine_."

"Still hanging in there?"

"_Yes._"

"I'm astonished."

"Douglas."

"Although, I think I might have figured out _why _exactly she's chosen _you_."

"I don't want to know."

"Really? It's very good."

"You're wrong. Whatever it is, you're wrong."

"I don't think I am."

"Yes, well, you are."

"I'm really not. In fact, I'm almost certainly not."

"Douglas. Shut up."

"You see, Martin, Aikaterini isn't exactly who you thought she was."

"I don't want to know, Douglas."

"I think you really do. After all, I looked her up the other day, and, well, you'd be amazed at what I found."

"You're making this up. You didn't find _anything_."

"If you _really _think so."

"Yes, I do."

"So, _Martin_, how was your_ date_ last night?"

"_Fine._ Why?"

"Oh, no reason. Was Aikaterini _very_ interested in your job?"

"Yes, actually. She was."

"And was she _particularly _interested in _certain _aspects?"

"Well, I suppose so."

"Like, for instance, your _salary_?"

"I... Well... Ah... She... I guess..."

"So I was right."

"About what? You never actually told me your _theory_."

"Oh. So I didn't. Would you like me to share now?"

"Go on, then," Martin sighed.

"You see, our pretty Greek friend is _very _interested in men with high salaries. Men with high salaries who end up mysteriously dead shortly after meeting her, leaving everything to her."

"_Ah._"

"_Exactly._ And as an _airline captain_, you would be expected to have one of these_high salaries._"

"... Yes."

"And she might be very _disappointed _to find you don't leave her very much when you eventually pass away."

"Um... I... Yes."

"So you might just want to clear up the _delicate _matter of your salary with her_pretty quickly._"

"Er, yes, I... I'll do that."

"Did you tell her, then?" asked Douglas.

"Yes, actually, I did," replied Martin, sounding morose.

"And?"

"She became very... uninterested in me."

"What did I tell you?"

"Yes, Douglas, I know," Martin sighed.

"Well, there's no need to look so upset about it. I _believe _I may have just _saved_your life."

"Yes, thanks a lot," replied Martin sarcastically.

"Oh, you're not seriously saying you'd rather have a girlfriend than your life."

"Well, not exactly, but still... It was nice, you know. While it lasted."

"Ah, well, I'm sure you'll find someone eventually."

"Really?"

"Not in the slightest."


End file.
